a friend once told me

to be honest, i have been feeling lousy. my mood is way low, and no matter what, i cant bring myself to travel further than my secret hideout. just the day before, after sending off my friend who dropped by to visit and noticed my extremely perturbed expression. i guess my issues are better kept with me, rather than to make someone worry.

after which, i made my way to my secret hideout. perhaps some of you would actually know where it is. it was raining before, so the smell of rain is still evident, with the grass soaked wet. on my way, i noticed that very big board from the housing development board.

here comes the bad news.

apparently they are planning to build a series of condos just right in front of innova junior college, and this would mean that the area would be increasingly populated. and so would my hideout.

gone were the days when i could just take time off my hectic schedule and scale up the slippery slopes and get myself all comfy on the hilltop. soon that very place would be invaded, and it irks me.

along the way, i snapped pictures with my pathetic cybershot. [1st gen somemore.. WTH]

and finally when i made my way up to the top, i realised that this was not the only issue bothering me. and that i was just using it as an excuse to be down. I sat down, closed my eyes and enjoyed the cool breeze.

her gentle hands brushed across my tear-stained cheeks
with a gentle whisper, she soothed my despaired soul

the stars were spectacular that night, and i was putting a particular song by fish leong on repeat. i guess that's the typical trait of an emo kiddo. HAHA. the song was entitled, "不是我不明白"

i have not felt like that for the longest time. i've always been that happy go lucky fella, smiling away. even if the world were to fall on me, my optimism would be sufficient to pull me through. but i guess i was wrong. all it takes is one particular catalyst to bring about that change. but i guess it wont be appropriate for me to elaborate, and it's no point.

but ironically, i had a lil with myself getting my feets soaked in waterlogged grass patches before heading home with that same heavy heart i started out my journey with.

i will end the entry with a quote my friend always like to say.

what's meant to be, no matter what happens, will still be yours
what's not meant to be, no matter how hard you try, they will never be yours

just before that i was having a silly thought, and that if i try hard enough, perhaps what i hope or wish for could actually come true. but my friend really did shake me back to reality, although it really did hurt alot.

but it was a good experience, and it reminded me that i still do have a heart, and feelings.